Well, it happened again, - Twice this week.
    And I was so mad, I could hardly speak.
    So, please listen while I sing away the blues.
I walked in the door, after working all day....
    Found my easy-chair, in the same old way,
    And began to read the mail, and watch the news.
That's when I saw it laying there:
    The Winners' List, of millionaires.
    With my name printed big 'n bold 'n black.
Now, maybe you're thinking, I should be glad.
    But, instead, it only made me mad
    When I found the word, Potential on the back.

I don't want no more sweepstakes letters.
    I'll just stay a credit-card-debtor,
    And work my way through life, the best I can.
I've got too many magazines now.
    I never liked reading anyhow.
    And I don't want another picture of Ed McMahon.

The first sweepstakes that came my way
    Had me dreaming night and day.
    I knew I was the lucky winner, for sure.
It said I didn't need to make an order.
    Back then stamps were less than a quarter.
    So I mailed it in 'cause I was tired of being poor.
I was so excited I could hardly wait.
    And every night I'd stay up late,
    Watching the Tonight Show on NBC-TV.
But when that sweepstakes contest was finally done,
    I learned I wasn't the lucky-one.
    Little did I know back then, - I'd never be!

I don't want no more sweepstakes letters.
    I'll just stay a credit-card-debtor,
    And work my way through life, the best I can.
I've got too many magazines now.
    I never liked reading anyhow.
    And I don't want another picture of Ed McMahon.

Somebody told me, "The secret to winning
    "Is starting at the very beginning,
    "And follow every instruction: Don't skip a thing."
"Put every sticker in its little square -
    "If you want to become a millionaire.
    "And, it might help to order another magazine."
So, the next time I got a sweepstakes letter
    I read what It said a little-bit better.
    I guess I did it right: Without a flub.
But, I hate to admit, I didn't win.
    'Same old story: I lost again.
    But now I'm a member of the Readers' Digest Club.

I don't want no more sweepstakes letters.
    I'll just stay a credit-card-debtor,
    And work my way through life, the best I can.
I've got too many magazines now.
    I never liked reading anyhow.
    And I don't want another picture of Ed McMahon.

I don't believe in gambling. I'd lose anyway,
    So, the lottery game's not one I play.
    That's spending hard-earned money on a game of chance.
But after sending in all those sweepstakes letters,
    I might've come out a whole-lot better
    When you count up all the money I've spent on postage stamps.
So, thanks for taking the time and trouble;
    I hope I haven't burst your bubble.
    And I ain't got nothing against good-old Ed McMahon.
But all his letters that reach my door,
    Never get sent back anymore.
    And his smiling face ends up in the garbage can.

I don't want no more sweepstakes letters.
    I'll just stay a credit-card-debtor,
    And work my way through life, the best I can.
I've got too many magazines now.
    I never liked reading anyhow.
    And I don't want another picture of Ed McMahon.