I got a little story I'd like to tell.
'Happened when I's stayin' in a little hotel.
Far from home and feelin' kind-a down.

Came a Sunday mornin' and I couldn't sleep.
'Crawled out of bed 'n got to my feet.
Said, "I wonder if they got a church in this old town?"

Well I put on my duds - cinched up my tie.
Shaved off my beard - looked out at the sky.
Decided I didn't need to wear no hat.

I'd walked a few blocks - found a church right near.
'First one I'd gone to in over a year.
See, I smoke and drink - and things like that.

(Chorus)
Oh, I ain't no church-goin' man.
I've tried it - but I can't understand
Why I should waste my time
In a place so divine
That a man can't give another man a hand.

Well, I'd just got in the door 'n what do ya know!
'Realized I had to find a place to go.
They make'm for girls 'n they make'm for boys 'n - that's me.

Well, I looked high 'n low - all over the place,
But I couldn't find it to save my face.
'Decided I'd ask someone where it might be.

But that wasn't easy - people everywhere.
At five-to-eleven they were rushin' here and there,
They were all so busy they didn't notice me.

I started to ask a middle aged man,
But before I could - off he ran.
'Seems he was needed somewhere-else - IMMEDIATELY!

(Chorus)
Oh, I ain't no church-goin' man.
I've tried it - but I can't understand
Why I should waste my time
In a place so divine
That a man can't give another man a hand.

Well, I finally found it - by the Good Lord's grace.
When I came out - I had a smile on my face.
Now I guess that's why this feller stopped me cold.

He was with his wife - 'n they had a little girl.
'Introduced himself, his name was Earl.
He said, "Do you know where the class is - for our three-year-old?"

Well, I said to him, "I think I do."
'Cause by that time, I thought I knew.
See, I'd passed it once or twice already that day.

So I pointed it out 'n showed 'em the room.
They said, "See ya in church pretty-soon."
They ended up sittin' a couple of pews away.

(Chorus)
Oh, I ain't no church-goin' man.
I've tried it - but I can't understand
Why I should waste my time
In a place so divine
That a man can't give another man a hand.

Now all through the service I listened real well,
While the preacher told me I'd end up in hell
If I kept on Livin' that awful life of sin.

But if gettin' to Heaven is such a rat race
That ya can't take note of a stranger's face,
I decided then, - not to go to church again.

After the service - people millin' around,
I decided to head on back down-town.
Earl came up and took me by the hand.

"Thanks" He said, "...for wearin' a smile,"
"I like your church - and it's been a while,"
Since I've been to one - from now-on I'm a church-goin' man."

(Chorus)
Oh, I ain't no church-goin' man.
I've tried it - but I can't understand
Why I should waste my time
In a place so divine
That a man can't give another man a hand.